Confession Time
By:  Doug Doughtie
© 1997 by Doug Doughtie

Okay, confession time
I don’t know what love is
I don’t know what hate is
They’ve never been felt by me or towards me
I wish I knew
I really do, because then I could measure what I do feel.
I thought I was in love
but that couldn’t have been true
I couldn’t bear to hurt someone I loved
I think
Or maybe I could?
Have I felt love?
Did I love her?
I couldn’t have, because I left her for someone else
But she still means a lot to me
But so does the someone else
I’m so confused
As always
But now it’s affecting others
I am a monster
How could I dare to hurt her the way I did?
How, when I cared so much for her?
When I loved her?
Because I didn’t
I couldn’t
Nothing this loathsome could feel love
No one capable of doing what I did
Could ever find true happiness
And if this gruesome beast can love and be happy
Then there is no justice
And we live in a world of sorrow
And now
As I reflect on my treachery
And my evil
I can no longer stand to be in the same room with me
And now, I add “Liar” to my list of offenses
Because I have not told the truth
I do know what hate is
I have experienced it
And I still am
I hate
I hate this monster
I hate this uncaring asshole that I am
I hate what I’ve done to my life
I hate myself
When that’s been said
I don’t need to say any more
I don’t need
Confession time