The Story of My First Teacher Death Threat

          Okay, here's the thing...  In Physics, we were given an assignment to do for homework.  The assignment was to write a letter to the Chamber Of Commerce describing an unsafe intersection and to suggest a suitable course of action in order to maximize safety.  I (needless to say) procrastinated, and left it until late that night.  So I'm typing my physics homework at about 1 in the morning, and I'm in that giggly phase you go through late at night, where EVERYTHING is funny, and usually precludes a giant crash.  Needless to say, that mood was reflected in my paper.  You have to read the paper before you'll understand the comments made.  So go ahead, read the paper, or you just won't get the picture...  Okay, I'm going to assume you've read the paper and I will continue with my story.  I was not at the beginning of class today (Sept. 8), because I was attending some kind of meeting for those people announced as National Merit Semifinalists, so I missed the part when she handed out the papers.  When I returned from the meeting and walked through the door to my Physics classroom to rejoin my class, the entire class laughed and clapped for me.  I got this goofy confused look on my face, like I always do when I'm in the dark, then Ms. Kolb says "You're a National Merit Semifinalist?"  And I said, "Yeah..."  And she says, "Congratulations, you freak...", and hands me my graded paper.  Nothing looked too amiss, for the grade said 20/20 which is equivalent to a 100.  I just chalked it up to odd behavior.  Ms. Kolb is kinda psychotic, so I just assumed that the display from the class was due to her telling them that I was at the Semifinalist meeting.  So, unassumingly, I sit down at my lab group.  It was a group of four guys, two of whom I didn't know.  The two I didn't know started sniggering when I sat down and Anthony (the one I DO know) said, "pure Genius, man..."  I come to find out that while I was gone, Ms. Kolb had read the class my 1 am paper...  If you read it, you understand how that would make an impact.  So, I look at the paper, not quite sure what I was looking at.  Once I realized that it was the paper I had been so psychotic with, I hesitatingly looked at the comments Ms. Kolb had written.  "I should probably berate you for making fun of an assignment.  But, unfortunately, this is creative and the physics IS correct.  Please be careful not to stray too far over the line -- you might get hit by that mack truck labeled `Kolb's need to be establishment'."  I was amazed...  My first death threat from a teacher.  After class, I walked up to Ms. Kolb and said "And where, pray tell, do you plan to get a truck like that?" pointing to the comment she had written.  She said, "Oh, I think I'll have one made, just for you.  I'll chase you around Plano until I finally hit you, and I hear the thump of you under my wheels."  With a sarcastic smile, she walked into her office.  I am so proud, in a morbid kind of way...  I'm getting death threats and full credit both at the same time...  Rebellion and fun balanced with good grades...  I think I've truly discovered the happy medium...  That, and it's just hilarious to be able to tell everyone that I'm getting death threats from teachers and it's only the first few weeks of school...

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